Self-esteem and Self-confidence

These two simple words have such importance in the lives of our children especially as they get ready to join the world of adults. Their importance is in marked contrast to their elusiveness. My extremely shy daughter (as well as quite a few of her friends) has had to work so hard to find some modicum of self-esteem and self-confidence especially in school. At home, she is a person who is so sure of what she knows and does not have to be prodded to share that information with us. There was such a delay in her language that we prayed for the day when conversations with her would come naturally. As I had mentioned in previous blogs, our efforts were concentrated in developing language and communication skills. Those efforts have paid off and as long as she is comfortable with the people she is with and with her environment, she can be a real chatterbox. There are days when we can't move ahead with homework because she is talking about this or that extensively. The tutor and I look at each other, both frustrated at wanting to have her do school work but not having the nerve to interrupt this wonderful conversation which has nothing to do with the work required at the moment. Being pretty conscientious with her schoolwork, she does, in time, find her way back to doing her homework. Despite the wonderful progress in this area, she still needs to find a way to be comfortable in her own skin and be confident in her ability to do things. I realize that as one gets older (especially when you pass that good old 50 year old mark), this happens almost naturally. But wouldn't it be great if our kids could feel that way without going overboard and getting cocky? These kids are such a talented bunch. What they have in common is that they are quite unaware of how bright they are. Why is self-confidence so elusive to them? Dance and drama classes have been extremely important and successful in helping my daughter feel good about herself. The experience of writing for her school newspaper is another fabulous aspect of her life. Her working at the nursing home during the summer, hopefully, shows her that she can be helpful to others. Being her mother, I will continue to explore more ways to expose her to activities that will be crucial in making her see how special she is. But perhaps self-esteem and self-confidence are just something that she will find on her own time and on her own terms.