Transitioning

For my daughter, my husband and myself, every rung on the ladder of my little one's life has been a major event. We have appreciated every accomplishment and every new skill learned. Her first words and first sentence were a cause for celebration. Every new friend she made brought so much joy to us and, I'm sure, to her. Good grades were rewarded -- not immediately so it didn't look like a bribe, but later on when the opportunity for a good time arose. We would usually do this with a Broadway show and dinner, which all three of us are crazy for. We always do Broadway the absolute cheapest way possible (with a rush or lottery ticket at an average price of $25 per person--- I will blog about this at a later time). Dinner was always at a very reasonably priced restaurant (I will blog about restaurants we go to at another time.) These "rewards" did not cost a lot of money. None of the rewards did. Who can afford anything costly these days? Besides, my mother would be appalled at the thought that there was even a "reward" for good grades. Let me get back to the point of this blog which is "transitioning". Now that my daughter is 18 years old, she has to walk that thin line between being a teenager and an adult. This entails effort on both the parent's and child's part. It seems to be harder for the parents and more so if you have an only child. Isn't it really difficult to accept that this "child" is no longer a "child", but an adult who is capable of making many decisions on their own? With so many "battles" to face when raising a child, I learned early on that I had to pick my battles. So insignificant things like what to wear and what to eat were left pretty much to her. So some days, she went to school with pieces that didn't really go together. So what! She outgrew that and now has a fashion sense all her own. She was a picky eater, but her doctor had no complaints. She liked fruits and vegetables and was content with only a small amount of food. Maybe I should be copying her eating habits. These days the decisions to be made are going to affect her future in a major way. What colleges should she apply to and what should she major in? We are guiding her in this decision because this affects us as well. She had to work within the realm of our financial reality. We have helped her see the advantages of certain institutions versus others. But once that had been established, it was up to her to choose. What she majors in is 100 percent her decision. If that was left up to me, she would be studying to be a plumber, electrician, or carpenter (fields which interest me, not her). At this stage of her life, the "fun" decisions cannot be anything else but hers alone. Does she go to the prom or not? Who does she take to the prom? Should she audition for this part or that in her school performance? Should she go on the senior trip? Should she go out this weekend with friends? Should she see this Broadway show? As her mother, it may not be easy to let her test her wings, but it's time and I don't have much of a choice. So, good luck and be brave, my child.