My life has been intertwined with my daughter's life. Such is the case with any parent, but more so with a parent whose child has special abilities. Lea was diagnosed with autism at 5 years old. That was in 1997 which is a lifetime ago but, for me, still feels like yesterday. Being an only child has given her the advantage of parents who could concentrate their efforts on what she needed and what she required to have the best possible life. Fortunately and, despite what the original doctors said, Lea has thrived and done really well. She is high-functioning and, by the grace of God, and with the help of numerous individuals, she has accomplished what the original diagnostics said she would never be able to do.
Lea's education was always the most important project we undertook. She spent a couple of years in a segregated special ed school with the most loving and nurturing educators. One of them secretly told me to find a different school for her because she could see that Lea did not belong in this setting. The search led to private schools in Manhattan, Queens, and other locations. I am pretty confident that we could have placed her in one of these very expensive schools with the public school system shouldering the expense (a lawyer would have been needed and we, her parents, were more than willing to fight the good fight). Meeting the inclusion coordinator at that time (Mayra) was the biggest blessing we could have ever received. With her guidance, I was convinced that an inclusion setting in a neighborhood public school would give Lea the best possible educational set-up. Inclusion, at this time, meant 2 kids with special needs in a regular classroom with a visiting special ed teacher helping the general ed teacher and a para-professional specifically for the 2 children. Lea had great role models in her classmates and very encouraging teachers who, with the training given, were able to provide her the chance to succeed despite the challenges she faced. Lea, who had issues with social skills, made lifelong friends here and, to this day, still keeps in touch with 2 great ladies. Before the end of 6th grade, Lea was able to transition to a regular classroom and was no longer under the supervision of the special ed department. She did get services still like speech therapy and counseling, both essential in moving her in the right direction. This was the setting throughout middle school.
She auditioned for a performance high school and miraculously got in. She majored in drama and was faced with tremendous difficulties. There were more challenges here than what she had ever faced before. Frank Sinatra School of Performing Arts (whose benefactor is Tony Bennett...yes the great singer Tony Bennett) is a school with students who start out running...all dying to perform and almost all extremely creative. Lea is shy but very into drama. She can memorize lines like no one else can. She needed a lot of guidance in learning the craft but was more than willing to put in the effort. This school had the most wonderful teachers and counselors who gave her the opportunity to gain confidence and courage. I wasn't sure that this was the school for her. So much so that when I first saw her on stage doing a monologue, I burst into tears. I have to say that high school was rocket fuel for this child. She graduated from high school with the drama award which is given only to 1 graduating student in every department.
The next step was community college (Queensborough Community College) which took longer than the normal 2 years. It took Lea 4 years to finish but finish she did. Lea is prone to anxiety so taking a full load was out of the question. This didn't matter to us since all we wanted was for her to enjoy the college experience and get her associate degree. Once that was done, she wanted to get her bachelor's. This was an easy decision for all of us. All it needed was her desire. We were so on board.
Getting her bachelor's was hard work for Lea. Since community college, she was pretty much on her own in terms of asking for tutoring help from her teachers and peers. Here at Queens College, she did the same and dealt with the many challenges any student faces. So after 5 years at Queens College, Lea graduated in the summer of 2020 and got her Bachelor's degree, major in drama, minor in journalism. The icing on the cake was her Magna cum Laude honor.
I'm writing all this not to brag about her accomplishments (well, actually, I can't help bragging) but, honestly, it's to let parents of young children who may have been diagnosed with a similar issue know that our kids are gifted with so many special abilities that need to be discovered, nurtured and brought to the forefront. With our help and the help of other willing individuals (especially teachers, counselors and therapists), they can reach unbelievable heights and become unbelievable human beings. 2021 will be another period of transition and changes for Lea, for us and for everyone else. We hope the pandemic ends soon so we can all get back to "normal". I am of the belief that the future is bright and, together, we can lift each other's spirits. Here's to a BEAUTIFUL 2021.
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