How Hard Should We Push? How High Should We Aim?

As parents, the goal for our children will always be that they do the best they can and achieve their highest potential. This cliche is heard over and over and yet there is no manual to guide us as we take this journey with our children. It would be really nice if all we had to do was go to a store and pick up a book on this topic, read it thoroughly and put into practice what we learned (much like how a cookbook works). Most of what we know in terms of pushing our kids to achieve and aiming for the best is taken from life experiences and intuition. In other words, we kind of guess as to how high to aim and how hard to push. What makes this difficult is that each child is different and unique. So where do we turn for answers? I looked at my mother as the quintessential model of what to do. She did raise 8 kids who turned out to be pretty good people (None of us are criminals and none of us are doing what Bernie Madoff did. We are all pretty decent human beings.). Teachers and therapists provide a much needed support system. Then there are friends, especially those who are in a similar situation (Kids are more or less than same age, with more or less the same temperament). Friends are a fountain of information. As I was writing this article, I realized that the best source of information is our own children. By talking to and observing my daughter, she tells me through words sometimes and at other times through her actions if she can take more "pushing" and if we should be reaching for higher stars. When I'm in doubt, I tend to err on the side of "aiming higher and pushing harder". After all, my daughter and her friends are strong resilient young individuals who are very capable of accomplishing a lot. So, sweetie, when mommy gets on your nerves by asking you to do all this work, it's only because she loves you........