It is now August 17, 2025. It has been years since I wrote about my mother's past. The failure to continue with the process is truly regrettable. My mother Helen is now 97 years old and has dementia/Alzheimer's. From time to time, she is lucid but more often than not her recollection is less than accurate. I will do my best to write about her past from what I can recall.
In the last article about my mom Helen, I stopped at the point where she graduated from college and started life as a single young woman. I have seen photographs of mom (Helen) and dad (Fil) with friends at a picnic. I think they met through friends. My aunt (Tita Vicky, mom's younger sister, 6th sibling among a total of 8 kids) said that the courtship was pretty intense and serious. My dad (Fil), who lived in a different island (Iligan) albeit still in the southern part of the Philippines, traveled often to visit my mom. My grandmother (Lola Ekiang) told me stories about how my dad Fil would bring her several pieces of fabric and several colors of thread because she (my grandmother) was very much into embroidery. I have some pieces of my grandmother's work and they are incredible. I am afraid to use them for fear of ruining the work. Don't forget that the embroidery was all done by hand and not by machine. Aside from bringing gifts for my grandmother, my dad also brought a whole bunch of gifts for my mom Helen. My paternal grandmother (dad's mother, Lola Eliang, real name Otilia) had told me that despite bad weather like typhoons my dad (Fil) would insist on taking the boat ride that would bring him to my mom's hometown so he could see her. He was seriously smitten by my beautiful mom. My mom Helen told me years later after dad died that she had a whole bunch of suitors who were better looking than my dad. Mom was one who took my grandmother's advice seriously. My grandmother really like my dad's sincerity. She felt he would be a very good provider and, more importantly, a faithful husband. I am pretty sure she encouraged mom to date and, eventually, marry my dad. They were married on December 23, 1952.
Because mom can no longer recall the early days of her marriage, I will have to go with what I can remember of the early days of our childhood. From pictures, it looks like mom and dad honeymooned in Baguio, a city in the northern part of Luzon (Northern part of the Philippines). They were of the belief that having children was part and parcel of married life. The first few years of their life were spent in Cebu (the middle section of the archipelago of the Philippines). Here they had 3 children: my older brother nicknamed Boyet, myself (nicknamed Girlie) and my younger brother who was nicknamed Papot. We had relatively normal real names but these weird nicknames are kind of fun to mention. During this period, I am pretty sure mom and dad rented a home. Old photographs show a very happy couple with young children. My uncles and aunts spent a lot of time visiting us. Don't forget my mother Helen was the first one of her siblings to get married. My dad Fil was the oldest child on his side and also the first to get married. My dad had a younger brother (Dadong) and a younger sister (Charing). Having nieces and nephews must have been a fun new concept for my aunts and uncles. We truly felt special and loved by the family. What worries would young kids possibly have, right?
My father (Fil) worked for the BIR (Bureau of Internal Revenue) which is the equivalent of the IRS here in the USA. This kind of job meant he had to travel to other islands and stay there for quite some time. That meant that my parents had to uproot the family and settle in a new place quite often. My dad's next assignment was in Surigao which is in Mindanao in the southern part of the Philippines. My brother Andy was born here. There were now 4 kids. After a couple of years, a new assignment was given to my father. We once again pulled up stakes and settled in Manila, the capital of the Philippines. My 2 younger sisters were born here, nicknamed Bembem and Beditte. We were now a pretty large family consisting of my parents and 6 children.
As young kids, we vacationed fairly regularly in Buenavista, Agusan del Norte (southern part of the Philippines). My grandparents (Lola Eliang and Lolo Isaac) always made us feel welcome. My grandfather gave us lessons in math and English. My grandmother told us stories, cooked wonderful delicacies and spent time with us. I always marveled at the many trees they had - mango, tambis (watery rose apple), makopa (Java apple) and others. We enjoyed the big veranda they had on the 2nd floor. My grandparents' home did not have a modern bathroom. Instead, they had an outhouse, with strips of newspaper nailed to the wall (to be used in lieu of toilet paper). This situation with the bathroom was never an issue with us. Perhaps having fun in Buenavista was enough to overlook that. In fact, using that outhouse was kind of exciting since we had to be careful not to fall into that hole. My grandparents' home was simple but efficient. It was spacious with 4 bedrooms if my memory serves me right. It was made of wood with wood floors which were made shiny by rubbing a coconut husk vigorously on it. These memories are truly a priceless treasure.
Our stay in Manila was not permanent. After a couple of years, dad was assigned to Zamboanga in the very southern part of Mindanao. During this period of their lives, my parents made the wise decision to have my mom devote her time to bringing us up while my dad worked. Dad and mom continued renting a home because of the need to move every so often. The house had a nipa roof (thatched roof made of leaves of a palm tree). Every time it rained with heavy winds, the thatched roof would lift up and rain would come inside. This was, obviously, a huge problem. So, the roof was changed to galvanized iron. The rain no longer came into the house but even the slightest amount of rain falling on the galvanized iron roof made such a loud echoing sound that we could barely hear each other. When I think of this, it makes me laugh. Writing about our life in Zamboanga might make others think that life was hard. In fact, it never felt that way. We were quite the happy and content family. The happiness of the family was highlighted by the birth of my brother (7th child) Ike. He was born on June 3 which was also my grandfather's birthday (Grandpa Isaac) so the 7th child was named after my grandfather and father (Fil Isaac). Part 5 will have more of our life in Zamboanga so please stay tuned.
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